Me Before You with You
by Trafiona
Summary: Alternative ending to Me Before You
1. Chapter 1

I slowly opened my eyes, unsure if I am done with sleeping, then quickly closed them again trying to push away memory of the last two days. I glanced at the clock. It seemed too bright for 4am. The curtains were closed, but the sun was crawling underneath them. I must have slept through the day.

I was in Bed & Breakfast in Greenwich in the middle of nowhere. I didn't go to my parents on day we came back from Mauritius. I needed to be away from Will, his family, from all of this, whatever it was or became, job, challenge, defeat, disappointment, failure, love, heartbreak..

I did not want my parents to be part of this. I needed to be alone. It pained so much, I didn't want to exist..

My mouth felt dry and I needed to drink. I forced myself out of the bed, but felt a bit dizzy when I stumbled over to bathroom. My body was demanding food.

When I appeared at the reception, the lady there seems genially relived on my sight.

'Oh girl, you are alive' – she exclaimed. Rather interesting choice of word I thought. – 'Have you left the room at all yesterday or did you actually slept that long?'

'I know I am sorry. I am usually an early bird. I needed some sleep I guess. What do you mean by yesterday?' – I stammered –'I only arrived yesterday late evening, didn't I? What day is today?' – I wouldn't sleep through the whole day and half, would I? No one was interested were I was? Oh, right my phone has no battery and for some reason the plug upstairs didn't seem to work.

'Honey you arrived on Saturday. It is Monday, 530pm to be exact. Unfortunately we are still out of power. Since Saturday night, can you believe it? But look at you; you probably could do with some food. I can make you some eggs and coffee. Lucky we have gas cooker. Come with me'- she said looking eager and I followed her to the kitchen.

'I am sorry do you have a phone or… my phone is dead' – again this word. In two more days Will be dead too. Strong pain shot through my chest. I closed my eyes and took a dip breath.

'Sorry darling we are in the same boat'- she giggled- 'My phone isn't working either. Lets hope this won't last long. They've got to fix it eventually' – she turned around to face me. – 'Oh, maybe you better sit down, you look a bit pale. Give me a minute, food is coming. '


	2. Chapter 2

Just few more minutes and we'll be on our way. And then it will be all over. I so wish Lou had come with me to Dignitas. Am I a monster by asking her to do this, to be with me until the last moment? She said she loves me. Wouldn't you do anything for the person you love. Yes, I am a monster, cripple who can only be a burden to others. It's better this way, for me her, everybody. No more pain, no …. A noise coming from the corridor pulled me out of thoughts. I vaguely heard someone talking to my father. I moved closer to see who it is. The voice was becoming more distressed behind the door. Suddenly the door opened abruptly.

My father looked a bit flustered - 'Will, did you see Lou since Saturday. I thought she said she is going to her parents? Mr. Clark is here, Lou never arrived.'

Mr. Clark picked behind my dad. - '.. and her phone goes to voicemail. Hello Will'-his eyes a bit watery, face marked with worry – 'you are looking good, I hear you had good time. Has Lou not come back to the annex?'

'No, she said she wants to go home.' – I was unable to say anything else. Million thoughts shooting through my head. Why? Where?

There was awkward moment of silence.

'Ok, thank you, yes , right – he looked lost in his thought- I 'll go then . I'll check with Pat. Maybe.. – he turned around.

'I am ready, we can go now '. – Mother walked in, gazing at the floor, not addressing anybody in particular, only now acknowledging Mr Clark presence.

Mr Clark looked at the luggage standing at the corridor – 'Are you traveling again? That's nice Will. I hope you will enjoy it. I will be going then, I don't want to interrupt'.

'Mr Clark, I am sure she is fine. But do let us know if you need any.. – dad broke mid-sentence

'Yes, yes, of course she's fine. – he trailed off , closing the door behind him.

We stood there all for a minute without a word. –'shell we? '- dad started.

'No'- I said shortly.

'What do you mean no, we could miss the flight, you don't want to go? Have you changed your mind? - I tiny hint of hope in my Mothers voice.

'No I didn't change my mind, don't get your hopes up, I'll just change the appointment. I can't go right now until I know she is safe. You can unpack.'

I wasn't just disappointed that my plans went to hell, I was angry really angry, but I was also anxious. What happened? I hoped Lou is with Pat. No, I didn't, going back to Pat would be a disaster for her, not for him of course. This guy has nothing to offer her. Oh, I just hope she is safe even if this means that she is with Mr Fit guy. Fingers crossed she is safe but without Pat. I'll need to ask Nathan to cross the fingers for me, since I can't cross mine. Uggh.. I need Nathan. I hope he can do few more days.

Two days later my mother was pleased to tell me Ms Clark was all safe and back with her parent. She was even more pleased, when Diginitas confirmed the appointment was postponed till 27 of September. So now I had additional 6 long weeks of my wonderful, precious life.


	3. Chapter 3

Someone was in the annex. Is it Lou, have she come back? My little colourful chatter box is back. I pressed the button on chair as hard as I could in hope to make it moving faster. Oh, how I hated this stupid chair, detested my useless aching body.

'What are you doing here? – I demanded realising it was Lou's sister.

'I could ask you the same. Shouldn't you be dead by now? – Katrina regretted the last remark –

'Sorry' – she said looking a bit embarrassed

'Don't be. I should have been dead, if your sister didn't come out with this brilliant idea to disappear'- She looked at me in disbelief.

'What you think she did it because of you? To keep you alive.' – she was fuming – you are not worth it Will.- she turned around and started packing. –' I am not here to talk to you'.

'What are you doing?' – I repeated.

'What are you blind now too? I am packing. Lou asked me if I can bring her stuff. As if I have no other things to do.- the last sentence she said rather to herself.

I missed Louisa so much. Talking to her sister now, someone who had been around Lou, made me crave her presence even more. - 'I would like to see her..? Could you?'

'No, she thinks you are dead. Regardless what your plans are, you are dead to her and it should stay like this. That is for the better. She is grieving now. She doesn't have to do it again later.'

Grieving – she was missing me. Warmth spilled all over me. So silly, she will get over it, the sooner the better. Katrina was right, I shouldn't be bothering her. But I was a very selfish man. I needed to see her. Now that everything was postponed by a month. Month in my state is very long. Maybe she be willing to see me.

'I am not dead yet' – I started, but she didn't let me finish

'No you shit, no. Why do you have this incredible urge to destroy other people lives? Isn't this enough that your life is .. Lou was good the way she was before you.' – Katrina was shaking.

What is she talking about? I gave her life. I opened her horizons, pulled her out of her little, safe shell and showed the opportunities that are just there waiting for her.

'Now she is more lost then after.. - she whispered

' What did you say?'

'Never mind. Just leave her alone.' – she stopped packing and turned to face me to reveal tears in her eyes.- ' Please let her be.' – she pleaded.

My mother suddenly appeared in the room. As usual great timing. - 'Is everything all right?' – she looked at Katrina up end down.

'Did you know about Katrina coming to pick up Lou's stuff? – I asked.

'Yes of course. Ms Clark probably needs them and as she is not working here anymore it makes sense for her to move. You can't disagree with that, can you now? - She seemed tiered. On one hand she was pleased that everything got postponed. On the other though as if she was struggling to find energy to fight for me, with me.

'Did you talk to Lou?'

'Not since we picked you up from the airport.' – she answered with no emotion in in her voice.

She didn't care about her. Louisa failed in the task my mother hired her for. It didn't matter to her what will happen to Clark.

Did I care? Did I really care? I didn't ask Katrina how was Lou? I asked if I can see her, not because I wanted to know how she is doing, but because I missed her company. I was no better than my mother.

I retreated to my room. Katrina was done in less than an hour and Clark was now fully removed from my life. I kept wondering about what Katrina said, about destroying life and Lou not being well.

I wasn't supposed to be here and learn all of this. It was almost as if I was witnessing life, life of others after my death. I knew they will be grieving, however in most cases the deceased isn't there to experience grieve caused by his death.


	4. Chapter 4

Since my plans changed and Lou wasn't there to keep me company, Nathan agreed to stay a bit longer during the mornings. He would also pop in for 3 hours late afternoon. I didn't want anybody new around. To my surprise mother haven't argued that. Nathan was great, but wasn't able to fill the gap created by Lou's absence. Today though he has been behaving a bit wearied. He attended to my needs as usual, yet avoided looking at me directly, almost ignoring me. At first I didn't pay much attention to it, lost in thoughts due to revelations that brought Katrina's visit the day before. But then I realised that something was off.

'Will you tell me'? – I asked finally.

'What would you like me to tell you?'

'What's wrong? – I prompted.

It took good few minutes before he answered - 'I saw Lou.'

I smiled to my thoughts. I felt relief that I can finally find out what is happening with Lou, not for long though.

'Will, she didn't look good at all. She must have lost half of her weight. I passed her in the park. It was pouring like hell, so we didn't stop to chat. Although I don't think she would stop if the weather was any better. She was jogging. Lou jogging in the rain, can you imagine? I found it funny at first but then I looked at her face. It's like it was Lou's face, but she wasn't there. Does she know?'

'That I am alive? I don't think so, what's the difference. – he understood , I didn't change my mind, just changed the date. I sighed longingly –' I miss her Nathan, her silly outfits, her stories, .. her being around here, her smile, her smell, her everything. I wanted to see her, but Katrina pleaded with me not to contact her, to let her be.'

'What actually happened in Mauritius? – He was curious now.

' I told her she deserves to live a full life where she is free to do whatever she wants and not one tied to me, to a cripple who can't give her what she truly deserves. She thought she had it all figure it out. She would stop working as carrier for me and took on another job, to keep this normal. As this could ever be normal? She said there are ways for us to be happy physically, she read about it. I honestly wonder how I would manage to make her come. .. by turning on vibrator with my hardly moving finger?' -I sneered but a vision of her naked in bed gave me shivers.

Nathan looked at me in disbelieve - ' So a great chick tells you she wants to be with you no matter what and your answer is _sorry_ _darling I prefer to die_. I am not questioning your decision on you know what, but man I don't think you handled this one well. '

He was right. I was so focus on me that I haven't realized what this could do to her. I looked at her through my own perspective. She had legs that could carry her wherever she wished, hands that could do whatever she commands them to. She only needed some help with breaking the walls she raised around herself. There were good things happening in her life until I told her ' she is not enough'.

'I guess I turned out to be an utter asshole again.'

'Will, do you have any feelings for her? '

What were my feelings for Clark? She said she loves me. I didn't want her to be miserable with me. It seems tough I have just made her miserable by rejecting her, choosing death over her.

'She was the sun on the dark skies of mine.' – I answered.

'Why would you push her away? I am sure she would make you happy, she defiantly would try the very hardest' – he was trying to convince me

'But I could not make her happy the way I wanted to. Come on Nathan you know better than anyone this is shitty existence'. – I still struggled to admit I was wrong.

'Only till six month ago you didn't have her in your life, and she didn't have you. You already made her happy. Well until you ripped her heart out'. – Nathan finished quietly.

I clenched my teeth. – 'She will get over it.'

'What is it Will? I don't want to be judgemental. Are you afraid that you might have found a reason to live?' – he let these words hang there for a minute.- 'No matter what, I think you need to fix it, before you go.' – I was surprised that the felt so strongly about it, about Lou wellbeing.

'Are you jealous?' - I asked suddenly. Nathan looked at me a bit puzzled.

'I am not sure if jealous is the right word. Not many girls would fall for a guy in your condition and took the effort to make it work. It takes one of a kind. It wasn't the money that attracter her to you.'

'Of course I know that she is one of kind. That's why I included her in my will. If everything went according to plan, now she would be enjoying a much better life style she had till now. And we wouldn't be having this conversation'- it sounded as if I was justifying myself.

'And Lou would have been happy? – he didn't sound convinced. – She isn't though. I am sorry Will. I shouldn't be telling you what to do. It's just the way she looked today. I guess what you are saying, she'll be looked after when you're gone, but that's another 5 weeks or so.


	5. Chapter 5

The power was restored on Monday late evening, brining tons of miscall and messages both from parents and Katrina, even Pat. I apologised explaining what happened, but assured them I am fine. They couldn't understand why I would need holiday after holiday. I couldn't find a good reason as to why I was in GreanWhich, without going into much detail. When asked about Will, I just said that my six months contract is over and Will is moving to Switzerland where he will have better medical attention and weather conditions. That meant that I will be coming back to live with them again and that the box room will be just fine and they don't have to worry about this.

I went back home on Thursday. Considering that I just become unemployed it wasn't the best time to be spending my savings on hotels, but I wanted to wait it out until it's done and he is gone, irreversibly.

Although Will departed this life or at least my life, he was with me at all times in my thoughts, in my dreams. Part of me wanted to forget everything, every single minute spent with Will in the past six months. The other part was in torment. Did I make a mistake? I never said goodbye, a proper goodbye. Maybe I should have gone with him to Switzerland, to be there next to his side until the last moment. No, of course not , bullshit.

I couldn't bare the pain. It made me feel claustrophobic at times as if I could not escape it. The only thing that kept me sane was running. It was a bit ironical, because running was what I could not understand about Pat and what to some extend pulled us apart. At the beginning everybody at home was making fun of me. I don't remember every being into any sport or physical activity. They were joking that maybe I am trying to get Pat back. But I just needed to escape reality. I needed to find peace somewhere at the end of the road. However every time I stopped, out of breath, it was all coming back crashing at me. Then I would run again until I would exhaust all my energy.

Today I saw Nathan. He looked a bit surprised at my sight. It was probably a bit odd that I didn't stop. I just couldn't, I couldn't exchange pleasantries. What would we talk about? The weather, the time in Mauritius, the ..

That day when I came back home although it was close to midnight, mum was still in the kitchen waiting for me. Instinctively I muttered apologies. She didn't respond, only looked at me as if trying to read my soul and then she hugged me. It was a comfort hug, long and warm, one that tells you I am there for you. And when she held me like this I started to cry. I think it was the first time I really let it go. All my feeling just melted under her embrace. Mum didn't say anything or ask what was going on. When I calmed down a bit, she took me to my room, not the box room, but the room I took possession after Katrina left for college. All my things were there. She put me to bed and kissed me on the forehead.

'We love you very, very much.' – she said quietly and left the room.

This was the first night I slept without head full of Will. I finally rested.

My mum's soothing hug was a start to my recover, but I was far from being cured. I knew I needed to put my life back on track. The only thing was I did not know how. The visit to the job centre was ahead of me again.

I was coming down the stairs, when I overheard my dad in the kitchen saying - 'I saw Will today. I guess he came back. Maybe after all Swiss doctors aren't that great. '

'Shush' – my mum lowered her voiced and responded in whisper.

I don't know what she said, but this didn't mutter I heard enough. Cramp twisted my stomach, legs became soft, so I sat down on the step. Big tear come down my check. I felt relief and huge anxiety at the same time. Then I realised it has been over two weeks since I saw him. He was alive, yet he didn't attempt to contact me. Mum's voice calling to join them for dinner pulled me out of my thoughts. I was now in my room sitting on the bed looking at a letter in my hand contemplating what was inside. It was a letter from Will.

xxxx

Today was a day full of surprises. I not only found out that Will was alive. I got a letter from him and I got mail from college offering me place in the next semester starting in October. I feared the good fortune can't last. I so badly wanted to open this letter. But little voice inside me warned me not too.

If I got this letter few days ago I would probably tear the envelope in split of seconds. Now I was on the mend and I wasn't sure if I can take whatever is inside of this letter. So I did the unthinkable.

I wrote on the envelop 'Return to Sender, No Longer lives at this address'.


	6. Chapter 6

Now we all tried to focus on what I need to do to fund the college. I would need to find a job quickly, any job for the few additional weeks before the college starts. Just so I can make some extra money. I would also apply for loan and Katrina offered to help. She also reviled that she asked for Reference Letter form Mrs Traynor. She wanted to spare me the hassle of getting in touch with her. She thought I might need it one day. I was quite surprised with Katrina recently; she was keeping me at bay which I was grateful for. She was extremely proud of me, when she heard about letter from Will. She admitted she wouldn't be that strong herself to not open the letter

Did I regret sending unopened letter back to Will? Big time. But what's done is done. Also this way he got a bit of his own medicine. Hopefully now he knew how it is to be rejected. The only thing was he already felt rejected. He felt rejected from the moment of the accident, when he was denied life in the form we take it for granted, where you can choose to stay or go without help, make yourself a coffee and drink it without help, you can dress and undress without help, turn in bed without help, scratch your cheek without help. ..It wasn't difficult at all to understand why we wanted to die. But then Will made me happy… without help, it was his own doing… . These were the thoughts that tormented me. The moment by brain was free to wonder, it wondered back to Will.

'Hi there, how are you? – text message came in on my phon.

'Fine' – I texted back.

'Can we meet? '

'Sure.' - Lost in my thoughts I was just answering mechanically. Hold on a second I don't know this number. Good few minutes later another text came in

'Park?'

'Who is this?' - This time it took ten minutes before the text came in – 'Uff, Clark , good you are asking. I was just getting afraid you will agree to meet a stranger. It could have been Jack the Ripper'

My throat tightened –' If you are not Jack the ripper who are you then?'

'Will' – was the answer. I swallowed; I knew I shouldn't answer and so I didn't.

New message said – 'I got my letter back, but somehow I don't believe you have moved. Since you haven't read my letter I need to tell you in person what it content was.' – I was able to resist opening the letter but I struggled to resist reading the texts messages that opened at a touch on mobile screen. Messages continue to flow: 'You didn't want to give up on me, and I will not give up on you. Please, I need to see you. '

This is not good, oh this is wonderful. No, not good. I will not answer. A good hour later one more message arrived - 'I miss you. '

I miss you too, I thought. I couldn't have say no to this. He really took some effort to contact me. Damn you Will Traynor.

'Ok, I will meet you. I have a one condition though.' – I smiled to myself.

'?'

'You need to come in stripy tights?' – I tried to keep the mood light. I didn't want to make a big deal out of this.

'?'

'LOL. Ok. Let's meet in a shopping centre. There is a new coffee shop on the grand floor. You should have easy access to it. '


	7. Chapter 7

'You know Will this job requires doing a lot of personal things for you. But this? This is a bit too much.' – Nathan did not look amused when trying to help me dress.

'Stop moaning. You said I have to fix this. So just get on with it.' – to be honest although this was my idea, I was not amused myself. I hoped this would be the closest I will ever get to crossdressing.

'There. You look quite idiotic. Is this your way of making her laugh so she can forgive you?'- he wasn't very convinced.

'Sort off. It's an inside joke.' – I answered. –'What are you doing? You are not taking photo of me? – Nathan looked disappointed, but put his phone to his back pocket.

'Fine. You are meeting Lou at 11, correct? We have plenty of time.'

'No let's go now. I don't want to be late. Traffic, parking, the right table. ' I could see Nathan hiding a smile.. - 'It's not like everything goes smoothly when I go out to public places.'- I was explaining myself.

And obviously not everything went smoothly but this time this worked to my favour. I got the entrance I wanted. Her face was priceless when she saw me coming from the opposite direction.

I could see her from the distance just arriving in front of coffee shop. She now turned around to check if I was coming. And then her jaw dropped, followed by a massive smile.

'You are crazy' - she now dissolved into laughter

'Just for you .I wanted to make you laugh. '

'Mission accomplished. Why? How?' - Lou looked at me amazed.

'You gave me this wicked idea. It worked for the best, no?' – I could not help but smiling back at her.

'Undoubtedly. I dare to say though I look better in them. Bumblebee tights are my domain.'

'I will not argue with that'. – I answered thinking how unherself she seemed. She had a tiered look on her face and the dark clothes she was wearing emphasized loss of weight.

'So they apparently serve the best coffee in town here. ' – she said with smile but avoided to look directly at me now.

'Do they ? – I tried to search her eyes. What have I done to you? - I thought.

'Yes, let's stay at these tables outside. What kind of coffee would you like?'

'One that I don't need to drink through a straw.' – I looked at her with a plea in my eyes. I didn't have to say more. She knew that I didn't like begin fed, helped in public and that coffee shouldn't be drunk through a straw.

'Fine, I get the coffees and we can go to the nearby park.'

'I love you ' – I said. That wasn't exactly how I wanted to start. It just came out. Looking at Louisa now I understood how cruel I was. She cared about me, she was ready to share my miserable life and I asked her to watch me die. I could see confusion in her eyes. –' I don't think they sell this type of coffee. I will get you expresso.' – she gave me wink and disappeared into the coffee shop.

It wasn't the best weather to enjoy the outdoors, but still better than the shopping centre. We were at a bench, drinking this extraordinary coffee and clearly struggling with the conversation. – 'This is indeed good coffee especially when served by you. Thank you! It would be strange to ask Nathan to do this for me. Anybody really, Mum, Dad. I know it's a simple thing. Not that they can't help me out with the drink. It's so easy with you, doesn't feel awkward, feels right' - Something wasn't right though. Her mood shifted and now I was talking nonsense just to kill the silence between us.

'So I heard you moved the date. ' – She didn't look at me, when she said it. – 'Why did you move it anyway? Why are we here Will?'

'How do you know?' – I was puzzled.

'My sister called, when I was getting coffee. You are not hard to miss in this outfit. She was wondering what the hell I am doing.' – Lou finally looked at me. –' If I knew, I would not have come. You have hurt me enough. I don't need a top up. - Overflowing tears were about to escape her eyes.

'I changed the date because I couldn't go through with it, without knowing that you are ok. You kind of disappeared for few days. Please don't cry. Look I am I wearing bumblebee tights.. for you. I haven't met you here to make you cry, well only if you are crying from laughter.' – I really didn't want her to be upset. Why was she getting so upset because of me?

'This is what I don't get Will. You made me so happy. You, the whole you the way you are. You were this massive gift that landed on my doorsteps. I needed to come out and unwrap it to find meaning to my life. I never met 'the' you before the accident. To be honest I am not sure if I would like to. And now you are coming dressed like this making me feel that you care…' – smile rise upon her face quickly to disappear again – 'But then nothing really has changed, you have not changed your mind. It's so confusing. If you came to convince me how this is good for me then you are wasting your time. Like I wasted my time trying to change your mind. ' – she turned to me now.

'It is not good for you. I can see this now. – My head spun for a split of second.

'Will, are you ok?' - She touched my forehead – 'You are roasting. Is Nathan somewhere around?' She reached for her phone ready to dial the number.

'Please, we haven't really started yet. Please don't send me away.' - I pleaded with her, but I started to feel now what she could see. Maybe the expresso wasn't a good idea for my irregular blood pressure. – 'Lou I am trying to tell you something important' – it was too late, she was already talking to Nathan, who arrived in speed of light or at least that seemed to me. It turned out he kept close eye on us as he was concern about my wellbeing today. He joked that he didn't suggest cancelling our date because I was too excited to wear the stylish pantyhose, but I could see on his face that he was worried.

Why this woman was so obsessed with keeping me alive? Pointless. I made her cry all the time and I couldn't even apologies without getting sick.

'Please come with us. Nathan will give me whatever meds he needs to keep me alive and we can talk. We need to talk Louisa.' – I couldn't let her go now.

She did come, but it was well into the night before we talked again.


	8. Chapter 8

'Lou' – I said with no hope to hear a reply. It must have been late; the room was dark and quiet with only a dim light coming out the corner of the room.

'Yes Will'– Lou's voice broke the silence. She was very close. I could smell her scent and felt her breath on my chick. But I couldn't yet see her face in the darkness.

'You are still here? Is it really you?'- maybe I was dreaming.

'Yes. You said you have something important to tell me. I didn't want to take my chances and miss it.' – She whispered.

'I am sorry.' – I had to close my eyes, I still felt week.

'For what exactly' – she rested her head next to mine.

'For everything, for being sick, for not being able to take you in my arms or at least turn my head enough to face you.'

'Stop please' – she sounded tiered, but I couldn't stop, she needed to hear this.

' For being rubbish at apologising' – I continued –' for being selfish, for letting you go, for wasting four weeks, 1 day and 15 hours or so of being away from you. This calculation could be a bit off as I don't know how long I have been out. For being a complete idiot, for making you cry, for not letting you love me, for breaking your hart ..'– I apologised and asked that little woman with immense hart resting next to me if she can forgive me, but she didn't respond.

'Lou, can you forgive me' – I prompted her

'I don't know.' – She answered quietly.

'I missed you. This life was never great, but when you left, it felt emptier than ever. I can't do this without you.'

'But you don't want to do it with me. '

'Lou, I don't want to live like this.. '- she place her hand gently on my lips to silence me. I kissed her finger tips softly and finished- 'But I am willing to do it for you' – she lifted her head to face me. My eyes adjusted now to the darkness to see hers full of question.

'Don't tell me that I need to do it for myself, because I simply cannot. But I will live for you. If that's what makes you happy.' – I felt warm tear on my nose. –' Hey Clark, stop crying. '

'You said happy tears are ok.' – She laughed. – 'Do you mean it?' – Lou was very close to me now, her lips almost touching mine.

'Yes, but before we close the deal with the kiss, I have one condition.'- I needed to tease her a bit.

'Ookey and that would be? '– she was cautious.

'You can't back down on all the sex you promised.' – I thought she will be appalled, but to my surprise she was the contrary – 'Don't think I promised you all the sex, but don't you worry about that Will Treynor. – She kissed me and added . – but first you need to recover and get into shape a bit.'

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

'You know Clark, I never have seen sky like this. This is pretty amazing. I travelled the world, but never bother to look up. '

We were in my garden, lying next to each other, looking at absolutely cloudless sky full of stars. It was Lou's idea and I have to admit a brilliant one. Lou read somewhere that if the visibility is right we might see spectacle of stars and we did. The sky was simply magnificent.

Now I looked at the brightest star I've seen in my life. She was right next to me. I still haven't told her what I really feel for her.

Strangely enough little raindrops started to disrupt the display.

'Oh , oh, rain , how ? It's clear sky. Hold on, I will get you out .. '– Louisa began to move out of her sleeping bag.

'Don't you even dare Clark leaving me now? Come back. '– I was getting frustrated; are we ever going to spent time together without being interrupted.

'But it's raining '

'It's the sprinklers.' – I explained. Damn sprinklers.

'I will switch them off.'

'And you know where?' – I questioned.

'I'll ask your parents' – brilliant idea of hers.

'Stop talking and put the blanket over us. It will stop in few minutes.' – She did what I asked but still didn't want to give up. –'But you will get soaked.'

'By the time you figure out what to do, I will definitely get soaked. You are not going anywhere. No, not again. I was just about to get lucky.'

'What?' – she tried to sound shocked. I couldn't see well under the blanket but I could almost hear the little smile that was hiding in the corner of her mouth.

'What, what? … no? You were the one who first brought that up. I even didn't dream. Ok I did dream, but I didn't have much hope' – I was acting innocent.

'Oh you, you're horrible. This is almost like our real first date'. – she pretending to be angry

'Clark, you know I don't have much time.'– I did my very best to sound serious

'I know, but not in here. ' – she actually seem to consider her options. This definitely went the wrong direction.

'Lou' - she was waiting – ' I love you. '

'And now what, you say 'I love you' and I am supposed to jump on top of you ?'

'Louisa Clark you are helpless case. Sure be my guest, just don't be disappointed if I am not aware or in control of what's going down there?'

'Well, we will see about that. ' – she had sparks in her eyes.

'Hopefully feel.' – I joked.

'Lou?'

'Yes'

'I love you'

'You don't have to say it as long as you live….


End file.
